Where were you when…

Music has always been a big part of my life. I have my parents to thank for that, they had a great record collection and I remember my dad playing album after album. My mom was more into doo wop and my dad leaned a little more to the psychedelic side. I liked it all and as I grew older I started getting my own style. When I heard “jam on it” by newcleus that was it, I loved the beat and soon after I discovered U.T.F.O., Whodini, Run D.M.C. Etc. then I remember watching American bandstand and out comes this white rap group called The Beastie Boys. They did fight for your right and at that moment they became my favorite. My mom hated them. She threw that tape away several times! When I was 10th grade I started hanging out with some skater kids and started listening to punk/hardcore. I can’t tell you exactly what the first album was I heard because honestly it was a whirlwind. I do know Dead Kennedys was one of the first and I’m pretty sure it was the album frankenchrist. I remember where I was, school was dismissed early because it started snowing and my friend let me borrow his copy. I was still on the bus at the school when I put it in my Walkman. I rewound it, pushed play and when I heard the guitar on “soup is good food” I immediately loved it. Then Jello started singing, I had never heard anything like this! To this day I can evoke that same feeling sometimes when I play that album. It still reminds me of a cold snowy day. They were my favorite band for years after that. After that I couldn’t get enough of this music. I would read articles in thrasher magazines about bands or just look at album covers then go to the tape store. So much to buy! I can kill a couple hours in a record store no problem. I took chances on bands I didn’t know and mostly it worked. I really love hardcore so I started seeing how many songs were on the tape, then I would look at the tape to see how long it was. A lot of songs in 28 minutes?, ok I’m getting this. I don’t get that feeling as much now. I still discover new bands,composers, vocalists but the excitement is not as strong as it was then, or should I say it’s just different because I do enjoy finding a great band.That was my heyday and I’m okay with that. I hope to write more about my musical and artistic life journey, as any music lover knows there’s so many stops and passengers on the journey. I hope you enjoyed it, and bear with me as I’m tired and not a writer but hope to get better and entertain some of you with my thoughts. And please excuse the long run on paragraph! Maybe shouldn’t have wrote this before bed…

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My new friend

Just turned 45 years young this summer, I’ve certainly noticed a love of things nostalgic lately. A couple years ago I bought a cassette deck for the hundred of cassettes I still own, and since vinyl is making a comeback I’ve started collecting. Actually very proud of my 12 Devo albums I acquired! I never really stopped listening to music from the 70’s and 80’s, when I got into the punk scene in the 80’s it stuck with me. It just feels different now as if maybe I’m trying to hang on to those years, and I’m ok with that. 

A few years ago I started using Instagram, since I’ve had an iPhone I’ve been taking all my photos with it. Actually have got some really nice shots. Obviously I’m no professional if I’m using an iPhone but through Instagram and doing a few challenges and interacting with other hobby photographers I’ve come to enjoy it a lot. I’ve been saying I need a nice camera, tough call on that because you don’t want to go cheap but it can be very hard to fork over big money for a nice one. Then my nostalgia factor kicked in and decided I wanted a 35 mm. As I was browsing a canon ae-1 caught my eye. Initially it was the look, it was pleasing to the eye. For 170.00 it was deal as well. I read lots of reviews and heard nothing but good about it. I made up my mind that this was the one for me.

That afternoon I took a drive and as I passed an antiques and collectibles shop I’ve driven by a million times, I whipped in a parking spot. When I walked in I saw some cameras on the shelf, a couple polaroids. One being a Polaroid pro pack, I almost bought it, and if not for a couple missing buttons I would have, then left the store. I asked the owner if she ever gets any 35 mm and she went upstairs and came back with a box with cameras and lenses in it. I moved one camera and much to my surprise was the very canon I was looking at earlier that day. I found a lense that fit and stood there with that piece of nostalgia in my hand wondering how much this would cost me. She offered to let me have the camera and lense for 25.00, trying not to jump up and down with excitement I said, I can do that. It came with a power wonder attachment, which I took off to ease the weight, and also had a data back film door attachment. I bought a battery and film and everything seems to be fine. 

So, as I sit here listening to Laurie Anderson sing O superman while I write this I’m pleased to add another bit of the past to my collection and look forward to the anticipation of getting my film back and either be disappointed or delighted at my shots. It’s ok either way, it’s a learning process and I look forward to it. With that being said I think I may use this as more of a place to share my photos, ones I’ve been creative and artistic with, others just basic landscapes. I’ll put up a few of my iPhone shots until I figure out the best place to develop film… sure could use a fotomat now! 

Happy anniversary 

I woke up this morning to the rain beating against my window. How delighted I was to roll over and get some more sleep, I knew today was going to be a wash. Of course I could not sleep much longer since I needed to get my youngest daughter ready for school, so I decided to go ahead and make coffee and enjoy the morning silence. This is my favorite time of day, those first few sips are absolute bliss. My sleepyhead woke up and got dressed in the clothes I laid out for her without being asked, her hair brushed with little tangles and her braid was just right. Off to the bus under the umbrella and back I go to the house wondering if I should go to work today. Let me finish my 4th cup of coffee first…

When I poured my last cup of coffee I grabbed my phone and saw I had a text from a friend. You know how sometimes you get a text and think, eh…I’ll check it later. This is not that kind of friend, I’m always happy to see she texted and the only time I don’t reply right back is if I just absolutely can’t. I open the text and it read Happy Anniversary. For a moment I wondered what could she mean by that? A quick back story on my friend, remember MySpace? Ok, now, do you remember a corny little game called yoville, no real point, just walk around and collect things for your house. The best part was you could type stuff and a little bubble would pop up so everyone could see. I took on a part time job at the time working 3rd shift at a hotel, so of course I played yoville… it was fun just messing with people, not being mean, just saying goofy stuff. Apparently this girl and her friends got a kick out of my yoville character so we would all me in cyberspace and joke around. Eventually I friended her for real on MySpace and later Facebook. We never really said much, just a like on a photo or a quick laugh about some of the dumb things we said playing games. To make this shorter I later went through a separation then divorce. I was going through a very tough time eventually my friend and I started texting as opposed to messaging on Facebook, I think we were both tired of that site anyway. We talked quite a bit and became really good friends, it’s been about 7 years now since we started talking. 

So back to my story, Happy anniversary! Oh!!!.. I’m surprised I forgot that was today, no it wasn’t the anniversary of our friendship or anything like that. 2 years ago today I decided I was going to quit drinking. Something that tortured me since my separation, I had quit before because I knew I had a slight problem with it, 12 years I went. It started again slowly then escalated and I knew I needed to stop. I struggled, I would wake up depressed and say I was going to stop, of course after work I was buying it. On the weekends that I didn’t have the kids I usually started before noon. What do alcoholics look like? Or act like? Like me I guess, although I don’t think anyone could have ever picked me out of an alcoholic lineup. I functioned, I went to work, payed my bills, fed, clothed and took care of my kids. But I also drank everyday, something I later became ashamed of and fought to stop. 

I finally did stop, after a huge repair I had to make on my car (it broke down, I didn’t crash it!) my bank account was tapped until payday and I needed to by dinner for the night. My oldest daughter just offered to buy for us that night since she knew I just shelled out a chunk of money. I wanted at least a beer, but fortunately I had the control to reason with myself that couldn’t do that, not even one 24 ounce beer. There’s no good reason I could think of that would justify that. So I didn’t, September 29th 2014. That was the first day I didn’t have a drink in I couldn’t remember when. I wanted to do that for so long, so I decide I did it once I’ll try again tomorrow and the next day… I made it a week and felt better and as time went on my thinking cleared, my anxiety was less and I was actually proud of myself. 2 years today, I knew it was coming but forgot about it. Happy anniversary! That’s what she was talking about. My dear friend remembered, and she took the time to send me that simple sweet message this morning. It made me smile, it made my entire day. I absolutely adore her sweet kind words and truly appreciate her for being there for me. We’ve been there for each other for years, laughed and cried, had deep conversations about life sent silly pictures and funny videos to each other. This may be my anniversary but I feel happier that I have such a beautiful person in my life and hope to have that for the many years to come. 

Hello Everyone 

Hi guys, 

Just a brief introduction, first off I’m starting this as a test. I often have thoughts or little stories that come to me that I like to share. Some funny, sometimes not depending on my day. I’m sure we all have those and really who likes to read about someone complain? I’m going to try to use this as somewhat as a therapeutic session and keep all my posts upbeat and positive. I know for myself it feels good to do small things throughout the day to be nice to others, simple things, could be just taking a grocery cart back to the store for someone or giving up your place in line. I hope that through some of my upcoming posts I can make at least one person smile or laugh. I enjoy hiking and especially love it when I have my youngest daughter with me, I always come back feeling refreshed and renewed ready to take on another day. Music is another big thing for me and most likely will talk about that as well. Sharing my art will be another, not everyone will like it but I don’t like all art either. For those of you that took their time to read this, thank you, I really look forward to this and I hope you will too!