I woke up this morning to the rain beating against my window. How delighted I was to roll over and get some more sleep, I knew today was going to be a wash. Of course I could not sleep much longer since I needed to get my youngest daughter ready for school, so I decided to go ahead and make coffee and enjoy the morning silence. This is my favorite time of day, those first few sips are absolute bliss. My sleepyhead woke up and got dressed in the clothes I laid out for her without being asked, her hair brushed with little tangles and her braid was just right. Off to the bus under the umbrella and back I go to the house wondering if I should go to work today. Let me finish my 4th cup of coffee first…
When I poured my last cup of coffee I grabbed my phone and saw I had a text from a friend. You know how sometimes you get a text and think, eh…I’ll check it later. This is not that kind of friend, I’m always happy to see she texted and the only time I don’t reply right back is if I just absolutely can’t. I open the text and it read Happy Anniversary. For a moment I wondered what could she mean by that? A quick back story on my friend, remember MySpace? Ok, now, do you remember a corny little game called yoville, no real point, just walk around and collect things for your house. The best part was you could type stuff and a little bubble would pop up so everyone could see. I took on a part time job at the time working 3rd shift at a hotel, so of course I played yoville… it was fun just messing with people, not being mean, just saying goofy stuff. Apparently this girl and her friends got a kick out of my yoville character so we would all me in cyberspace and joke around. Eventually I friended her for real on MySpace and later Facebook. We never really said much, just a like on a photo or a quick laugh about some of the dumb things we said playing games. To make this shorter I later went through a separation then divorce. I was going through a very tough time eventually my friend and I started texting as opposed to messaging on Facebook, I think we were both tired of that site anyway. We talked quite a bit and became really good friends, it’s been about 7 years now since we started talking.
So back to my story, Happy anniversary! Oh!!!.. I’m surprised I forgot that was today, no it wasn’t the anniversary of our friendship or anything like that. 2 years ago today I decided I was going to quit drinking. Something that tortured me since my separation, I had quit before because I knew I had a slight problem with it, 12 years I went. It started again slowly then escalated and I knew I needed to stop. I struggled, I would wake up depressed and say I was going to stop, of course after work I was buying it. On the weekends that I didn’t have the kids I usually started before noon. What do alcoholics look like? Or act like? Like me I guess, although I don’t think anyone could have ever picked me out of an alcoholic lineup. I functioned, I went to work, payed my bills, fed, clothed and took care of my kids. But I also drank everyday, something I later became ashamed of and fought to stop.
I finally did stop, after a huge repair I had to make on my car (it broke down, I didn’t crash it!) my bank account was tapped until payday and I needed to by dinner for the night. My oldest daughter just offered to buy for us that night since she knew I just shelled out a chunk of money. I wanted at least a beer, but fortunately I had the control to reason with myself that couldn’t do that, not even one 24 ounce beer. There’s no good reason I could think of that would justify that. So I didn’t, September 29th 2014. That was the first day I didn’t have a drink in I couldn’t remember when. I wanted to do that for so long, so I decide I did it once I’ll try again tomorrow and the next day… I made it a week and felt better and as time went on my thinking cleared, my anxiety was less and I was actually proud of myself. 2 years today, I knew it was coming but forgot about it. Happy anniversary! That’s what she was talking about. My dear friend remembered, and she took the time to send me that simple sweet message this morning. It made me smile, it made my entire day. I absolutely adore her sweet kind words and truly appreciate her for being there for me. We’ve been there for each other for years, laughed and cried, had deep conversations about life sent silly pictures and funny videos to each other. This may be my anniversary but I feel happier that I have such a beautiful person in my life and hope to have that for the many years to come.